Me and the boys

A good friend of mine, Lisa Reid, is building her photography portfolio. So off we went last Friday to have our own 'mini-shoot' - just me and my boys.

Malakai and Harlan were really great - it can be difficult for little ones to be placed, entertained to 'smiling point', and have a camera in their faces for an hour... I know from my years of doing this to other families! LOL!

For me it was like a gym workout - looking good amidst the chaos of two little ones is hard work! I kid you not! And as I am usually on the other side of the lens, I was a bit uncomfortable posing for the shots, but I am soooo grateful to have some great pictures with my boys!

So other than the 'workout' and an angry black swan who tried to attack us (really... it was wierd!), it was fantastic fun!

I think Lisa did an excellent job!

Splish Splash & A Stretchy Day

I am so loving spending time with Harlan these days! I'll be honest... those first six months were a difficult time. I may not be like other moms out there... I did not cope well with Harlan's colic at all...

In fact, I think I came to terms with Malakai's diagnosis of Down syndrome easier than I came to terms with the fact that Harlan screamed for almost every waking second for the first six months of his life.  At least I could cuddle and snuggle and kiss Malakai. I felt like a mommy from the word go. With Harlan however... I felt like a complete failure in the 'cuddle-department' and those times that he was inconsolable? Well... my 'mommy-spirit' would just break.

BUT - that's all the in the past now! He is a smily, engaging, content little thing these days - just eating up all the attention he gets. Amazing! I've even managed to take some 'splish splash' bath pics (not possible until now due to severe screaming through the entire bath experience).

And then - my little stinker (Malakai)! I have written before how Malakai has sensory-seeking behaviours and I've described them to his Sensory Integration Therapist, Nadine. Well, as other moms will know - our little ones rarely (if ever) play along with us. If we say they can walk... well then they 'loose' the ability for the entire therapy session. If we say they are talking... well then they only babble through therapy. And the therapist ends up looking at us like we're slightly delusional.

Well! I am so happy to say that Malakai had a Stretchy Day at his last SI therapy session! He sometimes has these days when he continually sits on his bum and stretches his legs out in front of him (sometimes he'll even pull faces and make uncomfortable sounds). He does this every two minutes - seriously.  I told Nadine this and I think she kind of brushed it off... Until our last session. She was amazed to see how much Malakai was stretching and even suggested I send him for an EEG to rule out seizures... WHAT???

Anyway - she did joint compressions on his knees and ankles - kind of like massage for your joints (instead of your muscles) and for the rest of the day he was fine. This is great news because now I know what to do with Malakai on the next Stretchy Day.

As for why Malakai needs the extra input in his legs? Well, I'm guessing it has to do with the fact that we're only going to physio therapy once a month now (instead of once a week) because Malakai is doing so well with his gross motor skills. But that means he's not doing all the physical stuff that he used to once a week. So, I'm going to investigate maybe doing a kind of baby/toddler gymnastics or tumbling class with Malakai, just to give him the extra input in his legs (climbing, jumping etc) and maybe we'll solve the mystery of the Stretchy Days!

Read it... and weep

.... in a good way!

This is so worth a read, so grab a cup of coffee and take 10 minutes - you won't regret it!

Expect. Don't Accept

(link stolen from Stephanie from Our Daily Smiles... who stole it from Rene at My Special K's... who stole it from Michelle at Big Blueberry Eyes... don't you love the sharing power of the blog-world?)

South African Blog Awards - Nominations

I have been nominated this year again for SA Blog of Year (Best Parenting Blog Category) - last year I came third.

Currently we are in the 'nomination' phase and the top 10 nominated blogs in each category will go through to the 'voting' phase.

Please, if you feel this blog is at all an inspiring/interesting/nice place to visit... please nominate me by clicking on the 'nomination button' on the top left hand side of my blog. Please follow all the prompts and respond to the email that they will send you to confirm your nomination.

Thanks for nominating me!

PS - someone asked if the current order has anything to do with number of nominations and I must say I don't know really? I think it may just be random placing at this point (or the order in which nominations came through).

Words, Sleepless Nights & Licking the Dog

Yes... you read right!

So much has been happening around the Stow Household and I've had so little time... something I've realised - with two little boys - is not about to change anytime soon...

So - I've neglected to post about Malakai's first words, which have been making their appearance here and there of late. I suppose they're not like first steps or the first time he clapped (definite and difficult to miss) - his first words are more like cotton candy... they're wispy and fine, they disappear quickly, but they are oh so sweet...

He's been talking for a while now - in his own language!  But recently I've picked out words that he's using often and with intent, like baba, dada, mama, bird (for everything he sees), bahni/barney (he's an addict I tell you!) and his two favourites - more and no...

Other than his words, his signing has really blossomed too and he loves to go through his pack of signing cards, diligently looking at each picture and signing each one.  My favourites are the ones that he's decided need a sound effect too - like elephant (with a nasal sound), pig (with a piggy sound of course!) and bear (with a growl).  I just want to eat him up when he does these signs!!

Malakai also loves to be sung to - especially with actions and he'll try to imitate all the hand moves and he even anticipates the end of the song and gives the singer a round of applause...

As for sleepless nights - little Mr Harlan has his first tooth and is getting more so there go the nights... right out the window! I've been spoilt with Harlan because he's always been a good sleeper at night - so now I'm trying to make it through the day with sometimes only 3,5 hours sleep... sheesh!!

As for licking the dog... the culprit? Malakai of course!

We've just starting Sensory Integration Therapy because Malakai has a lot of behaviours that suggest he's seeking sensory input. He's still putting everything in his mouth (including parts of the dog!), he's throwing everything, banging everything, grinding his teeth and sometimes he'll sit on the floor, flexing his legs in front of him (really stretching them) for ages and ages - like he needs the sensation of knowing where his legs are. From what I understand, being a sensory-seeker means that he's not experiencing his world as fully as he should - almost like trying to read braille with gloves on (its possible... but not really ideal). So SI Therapy should help to integrate his senses properly, and so improve his experience of his world. I'm hoping it helps, because I would hate to experience the world as though I'm wearing a huge glove over my body.

And that (as they say) is it... for now!

Malakai's 2nd Birthday Party

Malakai's 2nd birthday party went off without a hitch - the theme? "On the Farm" because Malakai just loves singing (and signing) along to 'old MacDonald'. I really had a lot of fun with the theme and even sewed the table cloths (made from red gingham and blue denim). Last year I was working three jobs, so I had very little time to plan his first birthday party - so this year I had so much more time and put in so much more effort.

We are so thankful for everyone who came along to celebrate with us - Malakai is our beautiful boy and the day of his birth will forever signify the day our Life-Paths changed forever (in the very best way!).

If you missed it, here is my letter to Malakai for his special day.

Tomorrow

Two years ago... I cannot believe it has been that long... or this short...

It feels as though you've been part of my life forever - and perhaps you have.

For two years I've been blessed by your smiles, your laughs, your love. For two years you've stolen my heart, my love, my everything. For two years we've grown together, and you've become part of everything in my life - my decisions, my thoughts, my prayers, my hopes.

For two years we've travelled 'the road less trodden', side by side - and you've shown me that life is perfect, we are blessed, and that every moment counts.

You are my beauty, like a sunrise. You are my heart beat, my breath, my food, my water.

I love you Malakai - more than I ever thought I could love another person.

Happy birthday little big man. Mommy is very very proud of you and I love you with all my heart.

Pass me the butternut...?

We started Harlan on solids with cereal for the last 4 weeks and he LOVES it to bits. This last Monday I introduced butternut at his evening feed and this was his response... I doubt he would describe butternut as 'delightful' at this stage.

Shame!!

Plettenberg Bay

So... my dear little blog, you may be wondering where I've been for a whole month? Well, I can't explain the first two weeks of July (other than the fact that I just didn't get around to updating). But I have a perfectly good explanation for the second two weeks - Holiday!!

We went down to Plettenberg Bay in the Cape for two weeks and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves - the sand, the sea, the kids, loads of interesting places to visit - we had a really great time.

Here are some pics (I feel quite bad that they are almost solely of Malakai and not Harlan - but I suppose Malakai is doing things that I just have to capture on camera!)

Mommy & Malakai

All my children and the things we did

Malakai on the beach

Malakai and aunty Sheri

Malakai and Dada on the beach

More of Malakai!

This weekend heralds Malakai's second birthday - I cannot believe my little man is almost-very-nearly two years old. I will be sure to update with pictures of the party (theme: oink! moo! baa!).

This 'n that...

I've been meaning to post for a while now and I've got quite a bit to say... so sorry in advance for any rambling or on-goings that may become a bit tedious to wade through!

Working from home

Well, I must say I am very busy! Whew! How did I write articles AND work full day AND do photography AND be a mom and wife? I just don't know! Writing articles and doing bits and pieces here and there really keeps my days full, and it isn't as if I have coffee with friends and mess around at all - there really is so much to do.

Most of all, it's great to be around and be able to stop for a moment to play with Malakai or hold Harlan during the day. I feel so connected to the boys, and I feel that I'm taking better care of my husband and marriage too.

Harlan's Crying

After five-and-a-half months of serious crying we've finally turned a corner. Harlan's crying has become so much better and we're getting to know the little boy behind the screams. Whew! It was tough for a while there and we're so happy that he's finding new ways to express himself!

He also adores Malakai - if there is anything that can make him smile and giggle, it's when he's watching Malakai do his thing - it's adorable!

Malakai

What a busy little boy - he's so inquisitive and really wants to push his boundaries, all day long! But I can see a real understanding in his behaviour, as if he's more in tune with what's going on around, soaking everything up like a little sponge!

He LOVES to read and will go and get his books and go through them one by one, pointing at the pictures and wanting to know the words for things. I want to really nurture this love for books and keep him interested because I think books are wonderful gateways to the world.

Discipline is still a major thing for me. As Malakai becomes older he's obviously trying to assert his independence, but he's also doing naughty things like hitting his brother and throwing things at us, which I need to curb right away. Except, everything I've tried seems to elicit only laughter from Malakai - seriously - he laughs like it's a game. It can be incredibly frustrating, but this is where we are right now and I'm hoping we find a way to teach Malakai that some behaviours are unacceptable - and soon.

And that's it really - we're all well. Blessed by health, by the roof over our heads, by the help we receive daily, but our friends and family.

"D" is for "Dada"

Darryl is such an amazing father - he really, really is. As the other-half of this marriage, he completes me and brings to the table so much that I can't. Thanks to Darryl, our children have two very different parents, and because of this, they have the best of both worlds - literally!

Where I'm super-anxious, a list-writer and worrier, Darryl is relaxed, free-spirited and naturally optimistic. We are very yin-yang-ish parents! But what we both have in common is the desire to meet in the middle and do the best for each other and the children.

Thanks to Darryl, the boys have a dad who will always drop what he's doing, get down on the floor, and play rough and tumble. A dad who will get up 10 times a night to soothe a crying baby. A dad who loves to be involved - nothing is out of bounds for Darryl - a dad who gets stuck into everything.

Darryl is my crutch, my soft place to fall, the one who tells me that everything will be alright - and he gives that and so much more to our boys.

I feel blessed to know and love Darryl and call him the father of my children.

"What are those things...

...on the side of your head for?" - I hear myself asking Malakai lately.

Whew!

Talk about not listening...

Malakai is really getting up to mischief lately and I am finding it really difficult to get him to understand the concept of 'no'. Whether he understands and thinks its a joke anyway, or whether he truly thinks its a joke - 'no' elicits only a giggle and smile from my boy.

What do I do? I think discipline is really important, for obvious reasons - for his safety, for our safety, to stop him from breaking things (his little brother included...), and also so that he can one day be part of a peer group, contributing and getting along with everyone.

Now, I know he's not a bad kid - on the contrary, he's got such a beautiful and soft personality. He's just a boisterous little boy, exploring and pushing his boundaries. But, I still have had no clue from his behaviour as to whether any of our discipline methods are sinking in at all.

I am finding myself asking - is it just typical 2-year-old behaviour or is his Down syndrome playing a role? Is it more difficult to discipline a child who has Down syndrome? Do children with Down syndrome learn discipline in a different way? I know that Malakai having Down syndrome means that he learns things a bit slower and may not be able to generalise concepts - does this mean that discipline is affected?

At this stage, our discipline method is simply saying 'no' (a million times a day...) and it's having zero effect. I don't think that Malakai will benefit from a time-out method yet, because I don't think he's ready to understand it yet. And let me tell you - Malakai is fearless! He's climbing over things, standing on chairs, trying to get to the top of book shelves - my nerves!

What have other moms tried? What has worked for other kiddos out there? I know I'm not alone in this and would really appreciate a bit of guidance. So this is a shout out - please help!!

You know you're getting old...

...when you put your back out changing your kid's nappy!

My age related illnesses aside - it's been a busy couple of weeks in the Stow household!

Malakai is officially out of school now, and not a moment too soon, as Bronchitis and the RSV virus make their rounds in our area - so many little ones are in hospital at the moment! No one tells you that winter is pure hell before you become a mom. We are only one month in and have another three to go before spring (yes, I know... we're actually very lucky to have only four months of winter... but they are a very long four months!)

Malakai is just gorgeous and he loves being home with Joyce - she really spoils him with so much attention and they play all day long. Other than catching everything under the sun at nursery school - I also decided to remove Malakai because he's going through a communicative-explosion. He is learning new signs and almost ready to say his first real words, and when I asked them at school if they were signing back to him (because I gave them copies of ASL to learn), they told me that they never noticed him signing... Now, I know that he signs all the time. So it's better that he's at home where Joyce & I can nurture his signing development and we can really focus on this area while he's so interested in it!

As for Harlan... He's really crept very snuggly into my heart now. I must be honest and say that it took me a while longer than I expected to bond with him. I think it may have had something to do with all his crying. I was mostly on the defensive with him, trying to avoid anything that could potentially make him cry. He still has his moments, but his little personality is starting to surface and he's so darn cute! He's all about his mouth at the moment - everything goes into his mouth and he's getting very good at holding his rattle and giving it an exploratory lick... He's also very verbal, goo-ing and ga-ing all over the place!

This last weekend we took the boys to a local restuarant with a large play area - it was our first outing in a while because the boys have been sick for so long. It was so nice to see Harlan enjoy the outing (he usually cries if we take him out of his routine) and Malakai had an absolute blast chasing birds, playing in the sandpit, climbing the jungle-gym and running rampant! It was my sister-in-law's 30th birthday party, so we wish her a fantastic year ahead!

Which reminds me... I'm almost 30... in just over four months time... yikes! That must be the reason I put my back out!

Malakai on the jungle-gym with Darryl

Mr. Independent...

picking up feathers on the grass


nothing misses Malakai's eagle-eye these days - he notices everything

there's a smiley boy!

I just love Harlan's little shoes!

like I said... everything in his mouth...

Darryl touching Harlan's little nose

Malakai in the sandpit

Malakai with the Amazing Aunty Sheri - she is so good with him...