We are the Stow Family and this is our story. Our lives are blessed by Love, Joy and Hope. Follow our sometimes interesting stories on loving our two boys, exploring parenthood, and celebrating a little extra - two parents, two boys and an extra chromosome!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Whew... coming up for air






I've been wondering if I should sugar coat my last two weeks with pretty adjectives that come from an embarrassed (or guilt-induced) place, or if I should be honest.

Well... honesty has always been the easiest route for me (lying entails actually having to remember the lie, and with my porridge brain, that's not even a remote possibility at this point...).

It's been hard. Very. Flipping. Hard.

I was always aware that Malakai was an 'easy' baby - in fact I didn't know he could cry until he was 3 months old... But I didn't know that babies are usually this difficult...?

Harlan has severe cramps (from what I can tell) which keep him awake, and therefore overstimulated and crying, for hours on end. Today we had a 6-hour-long stretch of awake-ness interspersed with shrill and inconsolable crying. I'll be honest - I just cried myself at one point... desperate for some kind of respite from this little person.

I have tried all manner of things, from colic drops to homeopathic tablets to letting him sleep upright in his little car-chair to playing womb music to carrying him in a sling to feeding him sitting up and feeding him lying down...

Add to this the fact that we've all be sick for two weeks and you have yourself a recipe for some tension, headaches, sleep-deprivation and general grumpiness X 1000.

Malakai was diagnosed with croup last week - which I am so upset about because I know this is a recurring illness! My poor baby! Harlan still has a runny nose and is coughing (along with Darryl and I). So our house is filled with antibiotics and all other medicinal paraphernalia, none of which I can take myself.

I do try to always put a positive spin on my posts (and my life in general) - because I don't see the point in wallowing in self-pity - but this has definitely been a challenge.

And I feel so ridiculous! Many people have more than one child! I am not the first or the last, so I feel as though I am not special enough to feel like I'm drowning here... My logical brain is telling me to get with the programme and stop being so silly, but still... I feel like I'm in over my head.

What I can say though, with a certainty that comes with a baby finally fast asleep, with the last 15 minutes to myself to recharge and breath deeply, is that I know it will be ok. I know that it will get easier and that Harlan will eventually stop crying. Of this I am certain.

12 comments:

Lacey said...

Oh I hope you can find something to comfort him. It doesn't matter how many kids you have, a baby that cries hours on end is enough to make anyone crazy!

jjpsmommy07 said...

Hugs to you! You have it hard especially with everyone being sick! That is not fun!

As far as Harlan, some things that worked with Andrew(who is 15 now) He always cried so I ran the vacumn(just let it run in the corner) eventually I bought a toy one. I played a radio in his room and to this day he loves music, but it helped him.

Jonathon had croup a few weeks ago. I hope everyone is better soon. Hugs to you and your precious family!

Jennifer said...

Ouch, I really feel for you and hope you have some peace soon. Aidan was a piece of cake, and my middle boy was exactly like your Harlan. We made it through ,but it took a few months. He is still my neediest child. Maybe he'll always be high maintenance, but it's nothing like those first few months were. But, number 3 was easy again (thank goodness!). I'm just trying to tell you that it WILL get better, even if it doesn't feel like it!

Lianna said...

Sending a great big hug. It's not easy -- it shouldn't be easy -- especially when you're all sick.

Still beautiful pics, though...♥

Anderson Family said...

Wow - sounds like a rough couple of weeks. I think we get spoiled with these cute Down Syndrome kids who rarely cry.....but babies are not always that easy. And I don't think you should sugar coat your post - that is what blogs are for - for sharing the real life. Hope you find something that makes him happy!

Conrad, Megan and Our Precious Keaton said...

Firstly big hugs my friend, the honestly in this post is so refreshing to read, with ALL the wonderful and beautiful things a new born brings to our lives, their are times when things just dont run according to plan, You have the right attitude, get through it, recollect your thoughts and feelings and move forward. You are a brillient mom and all your love that you pour into your little Kai and Harlan is more than enough to get you through the hard days! And if we are being honest today, I have a secret to tell you.... I broke down and cried twice today with despreration to get Keaton to sleep.... What normally takes me 5 mins took me over one and a half hours!! I just did not know what to do, but in the end..... he did fall asleep..... Time for me to recollect and move forward... THanks for the positive twist at the end of your post... Hugs to both beautiful boys.. Hope to see you some time this week! God bless!

Jessica said...

I can symphathize. I have a new little guy as well and have really been struggling with the crying and no sleep myself. NONE of my babies have been easy darn it! Lovable? Certainly. Easy? No. I hope things get better for you, and your boys too. Sometimes all we can do in "those" moments is remind ourselves that this too shall pass.

Elriza Paul said...

Shame my friend, this too shall pass!

Deqlan said...

you are so right Loren, IT WILL BE OK - so sorry you having a challenging time, wow, you do have your hands full. Praying that you all get better soon and that Harlan settles, just a quick thought - have you checked if has reflux? sounds a little like Keaton when he was younger??
Hoping Mommy Loren gets a chance to recharge her batteries and rest and everything will look and feel and be better..if you need baby sitters you know where to find us! Get better soon Stow family!

Lindsey said...

Having a new baby is always hard...especially when they are sick. Hang in there. Get some rest yourself. Have a nice bubble bath, read, relax.
Lindsey Petersen
http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com

Brandie said...

Going from 1 to 2 kids is HARD!! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Harlan, also, sounds a lot like my 2nd. That's why there are 5 years between my 2nd and 3rd. Ha! It gets better. I sometimes think 3 or 4 kids is easier than 2. Hang in there.

Josette said...

None of my 3 babies would I consider easy. The oldest was terribly collicky for much longer than what is normal. The doctor prescribed a medicine called Levsin, which is an antispasmodic, which was helpful. Not always, but sometimes. With my second 2 babies, they both had reflux. They were all held a LOT which is hard when there are 2 and then 3. I noticed another person commented that her difficult baby was still her neediest child. My oldest (I have yet to hear a colicky baby story that is as bad as hers!) is 15 now and is my lowest maintenance kid. Either way...things will get better. I tried EVERY thing, spent $100 on something that would vibrate/jiggle the crib and produce white noise. That didn't end up being too helpful. In general movement, patting hard, lots of walks in the stroller(hard in the winter!)jiggling...probably all things you've tried. Hang in there!