We are the Stow Family and this is our story. Our lives are blessed by Love, Joy and Hope. Follow our sometimes interesting stories on loving our two boys, exploring parenthood, and celebrating a little extra - two parents, two boys and an extra chromosome!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Visit from Granny Dye

Dearest Malakai,

What a wonderful week we have had so far! Your granny (my mom) has been to visit and spoiled us rotten!
Granny is so excited to be spending time with you and getting to know you better - like me, she thinks you are absolutely the best thing since sliced bread!!
Here are some pictures of you and granny that I took today!

You are all my Reasons for Being,

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Be Yielding

Dearest Malakai,

You are becoming a real little person now! I love to spend time with you when you are awake, looking around, wriggling your little body, turning to look at your favourite things, even hinting at a smile for me!

This week I wanted to write about something that seems so simple... so unimportant... but those are the most important things I have learned!!
To be yielding means that you are not rigid, not so set and so sure that you will turn the other cheek to ideas and people that don't fit your ideas of 'How Things Should Be'.
To be yielding means that you are like a beautiful tree, swaying in the breeze - going this way and that, not fighting or arguing with the way the wind blows.
I spent the better part of this week being a bit like a stale twig... not wanting to give up, not wanting to move from my spot and all the while being... well... a very unhappy little stale twig!
Sometimes it is not only a happier state of being to be yielding, it is also a learning curve to see something as someone else sees it! And most often, when you let go of your ideas and just yield (or surrender), the very thing you wanted so badly comes to you without a fight or tears.
So! As unimportant it may seem, to be a soft green tree blowing this way and that in the wind, is perhaps the most powerful and awesome thing - because let's face it... being a stale little twig is rather sad and not very fun!

You are all my Reasons for Being!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Happy Birthday to Mom!

Malakai's new favourite sleeping spot...

This is truly a love affair with Mr. Cow!

Just hangin' with my buddie Mr Cow

Dearest Malakai,

Today I turn 28!! Wow!! I certainly don't feel 28... Although, I am not sure what '28' should feel like anyway!

I am having a fantastic day with you and Thank You so much for your present (the new ColdPlay CD)!! You know that I love their music sooo much! Your daddy has also been so great, spoiling me rotten!!

Anyway baby - I am so glad to spend my first birthday as a mother to the most gorgeous and amazing baby boy!!

You are all my Reasons for Being,

Monday, September 15, 2008

Do Your Best

Dearest Malakai,

It has been a while since I have written to you! As we round the bend towards to the 6 week mark, it is needless to say that you are keeping me on my toes and out of trouble! I don't think I am the first mom - and I won't be the last - that has wondered if I am doing everything 'right' and being the 'perfect' mom! Sometimes we feel as though we are not doing enough, not doing it right, and therefore we are moving away from perfection to that scary place of 'not perfect'...
So why am I talking about this - I hear you ask...
Well, it occured to me that maybe one day you might feel like you're not doing something 'right' and this might make you sad or frustrated! I understand how you might feel that way my angel! It is difficult - even when we know better - to let go of the idea of 'perfect' and just celebrate 'the way things are'!
I choose to believe (when I'm not beating myself up) that everyone is doing their best. No matter how far from 'the idea of perfect' they are! Whether they conform with everyone else and seem to be doing everything right, or whether they are so far from the norm that everyone is convinced that they are doing nothing right... everyone is doing the best with what they know and they have available to them.
So! The idea, my angel, is that we are all doing our best (with what we have), because we are made that way. Just like the story about the flower blooming, the sun shining and rain drop dropping... humans do their best.
I am not saying that you will never feel frustration or sadness - but hopefully you find a moment to stop and remember 'Do Your Best', and you will then see that you are doing your best! That is all that counts and that is all you and I can do on this journey we find ourselves!

You are all my Reasons for Being,

Monday, September 8, 2008

Pictures - 1 Month Birthday

You lookin' at me???
Resting at tummy time...

Just chillin'

Happy 1 Month Birthday!

Dearest Malakai,

You are 1 month old today! Hurray!

This month has flown by, and been filled with a lifetime of experiences and emotions! Your daddy and I are not the same people - we are parents to a wonderful, beautiful, precious and angelic baby ("Who Me?" - Yes you!). We love you so much!

You have also been such a big part of other people's lives! All your extended family have been taken by your magic presence, and all our friends are smitten too! You are a super star my angel, and we are so excited to see what the next month brings us!

In the meantime, here is the next letter from your Granny Dye - the words are so beautiful, and I just thought it would be such a perfect birthday present for you!

Darling Malakai,
The most important lessons we learn are not taught to us by strangers in a classroom. The lessons taught in classrooms are all about learning answers according to what society has decided is the ‘one right answer’. Tests are written and rewards are given – only if you give the answer that you were taught to give! The aim is to make everyone behave in the same predictable way so that society feels secure.
Now this is perfectly okay… for those who want to participate. But what about the people who question the ‘one right answer’, have their own answers, or even better - just don’t know? I was one of these people and have thankfully come to realize that the truth is that nobody really knows anything for sure.
When graduates of the ‘one right answer’ school encounter anything that is different from the way they think it should be, they see it as ‘wrong’ and try to change it. They are doing the best they know how, even though it is very painful for them each time they interfere in other people’s business. Because most of their lessons have been based on opinions and not the truth, they try to change reality to be the same as their opinions – and this is where their pain begins. One of the important lessons that they were not taught is: It is impossible to change reality – it just is what it is – absolutely perfect!
I had the privilege of becoming your Mommy’s mother almost 28 years ago. I was quite young and took this responsibility rather seriously so I read lots of books hoping to learn how to be a good mother. Fortunately, your Mommy soon taught me that she was a wise individual and I surrendered to the peaceful reality of simply enjoying our perfect partnership.
Your Mommy is a unique and beautiful being who I was pleased to follow as she taught me how to be her mother – moment by moment. Endless questions lead to us sharing many hours discussing issues from all angles trying to understand – often only to discover that we really don’t know. The journey has never been boring, often very funny, and most importantly of all, painless.
Life’s most important lessons are all around us. We can learn all we need to know by observing the beauty of Nature – everything is perfectly normal, especially in its differentness. The tree that stands proudly upright and tall is as perfect as the tree with gnarled branches bent at all angles. Can anyone truthfully say that one tree is ‘right’ and the other tree is ‘wrong’? The same applies to all people. The person who cannot walk is as ‘normal’ as the person who runs marathons. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – only perfection!
This is why I am so excited about all the things I am going to be learning from you and with you, through your beautiful innocent eyes, my darling Malakai.
With All My Love,

Daddy and I love you so much and we are so proud to be your parents!

You are all my Reasons for Being,

Saturday, September 6, 2008

This Week in Photos

In your dad's arms - your favourite place!

Is that a little smile?

Playing with my little Gym

Dad feeds me!


He said... She said...

Dearest Malakai,

It has been an interesting week, my angel. You have been growing stronger and are more and more awake these days - I love looking in your big blue eyes, holding you close to me, playing with your hands and little feet! You are so wonderful and I am so proud!

I thought that I would give you snippets of information (to use or not use), as they come up. That way, I can act as a guide in this world that sometimes seems scary (even to grown ups). There are many ways to live in the world, many ways to see the world - this is what makes the world so interesting and fun! Some people see everything in a scary way and other people see everything in a understanding and peaceful way - my wish for you is to see the world in an understanding and peaceful way, and as your mom, I think I can help you with this.

So! This week's post is called 'He said... She said...' This is about people who talk about other people's business. Now, most people will go 'oh no... I don't do that!', but the truth is, we all do... at some point. Everyone you will ever see has spoken about others (in good and bad ways), including Mommy.
"Really? Why?" I hear you ask.
Well... I can't really say, but it may be because sometimes it is easier to look at other people's lives than it is to look at your own life. Sometimes because you can't think of anything else to say. Sometimes because you want to try and look clever and full of news. Sometimes because you're angry with that person. There are many reasons my boy!
But the important thing to know is that it is what people do. Just like a flower blooms, the sun shines, and a rain drop... well drops! It is what happens. So the sooner you realise that it is not personal and it is what people do, the sooner you will find that what they say is not important.
Yes! As long as you know that people will talk about you, about me, about the lady at the check-out counter, about anyone and everyone - then it will not hurt when you find out that they have used your life as a conversation starter.
It's really quite simple isn't it my angel?
So, hopefully you will now not be upset by people talking about you - this is something that happens and it is ok.
I love you my boy and I know that your journey is one of understanding and peace - your own and as an example to others!

You are all my Reasons for Being

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Can I have that to go?

Very good at self-soothing already!

Mommy gives you a kiss!

In Daddy's Arms

Wide Awake!

Dearest Malakai,

You have had your mommy running the past two days! I think you have gone through a growth spurt, because your usual soft and quiet nature turned into 'Food! Now!'... every two hours... What a hungry boy you were! But you are back into your routine now and sleeping like an angel next to me as I write this post...

I just wanted to upload some new pictures of you - everyone's been asking! So here they are - you looking as handsome as ever!

I love you my angel!

You are all my Reasons for Being