We are the Stow Family and this is our story. Our lives are blessed by Love, Joy and Hope. Follow our sometimes interesting stories on loving our two boys, exploring parenthood, and celebrating a little extra - two parents, two boys and an extra chromosome!

Monday, July 27, 2009


A bit of an announcement today!

Mr. Malakai will have a little brother or sister to play with come January 2010... Yes, I'm pregnant again!

We are really excited about having another baby, especially because we think Malakai is going to make a really super big brother and we can't think of a better gift for Malakai (a sibling to love and share and play with), or a better gift for the little person I'm pregnant with (to have Malakai as a brother).

So - here we go again!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Guess who's....?

.... got two big teeth?

... and can drink from his own cup?

....Mr Malakai of course!!

Friday, July 17, 2009

It's a floater!

Malakai is such a star!

I thought I'd start with that! :)

He is becoming so mobile and really starting to explore (every single) aspect of his environment! He'll throw his ball and chase after it for ages! He's trying to pull himself up on things and his understanding of what's going on around him is amazing!

His crawling has improved so much over the past two weeks and I'm so proud of my little monkey!

Ok - so about my title - 'it's a floater!'

Well - Malakai loves to poo in the bath. Yes. In. The. Bath.

Almost every night he'll 'drop one' while bathing... Now I've tried delaying his bath, massaging his tummy before a bath, playing with his legs to get the poo flowing BEFORE his bath, but to no avail...

I dunno - maybe it's the freedom of floating around in water that does it for him? I've heard of people that go into libraries and the smell of books instantly makes them want to do a 'number 2'... so maybe it's psychological?

Well - Malakai used to suffer from the most terrible constipation, so whenever he poos I'm grateful! But, this obviously causes some logistical problems - namely - I can't bath my son in poo-water!!

Am I alone? Is Malakai the only one who loves to poo in the bath? Any guidance out there? Tips? Hints? It would make bath-time so much easier for me.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I wish you Love & Light

I have been doing some soul searching the past few days – questioning long-held beliefs and trying to make changes in my life that will bring into my life those things that I want – Love, Peace, Acceptance, Understanding and most of all Embracing this Moment.

Firstly, I have realized that if I want those things in my life, and I expect others to respect those things, then I must be able to ‘step up’ and deliver those things myself. Easy peasy? Not quite.

It means that I must give Love, Peace, Acceptance and Understanding to those that give it back AND to those that don’t. Nelson Mandela once said that revenge/unforgiveness/hatred for another is like me drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead… Not very clever. No.

But this is obviously easier said than done people. Which is why I think it is has been the most enlightened of our species that have displayed this tendency – it is not easy for us mere mortals.

In recent days/weeks I have chosen to join a group of concerned parents of children with Ds who want to educate the ignorant and call them on their outdated beliefs – in the hopes that we can make a difference for our children. This is noble and the intention is good. But what a ninny I am! The very first article we were lead to read, one that was so incorrect and so ridiculous about individuals with Ds, and I’m ‘chickening out’ so to speak.

The article itself wasn’t that bad – leaving a comment for the author would surely have given him food for thought. So everything is all good… until I read a comment on this particular article that referred to my child (or people with Ds) as ‘animals’ and not much better than ‘cattle’… ‘just because something looks human, doesn’t mean it is’.

What? My mouth just hangs open and my heart constricts. Re-read it. And again. Nope. Still dumbstuck.

This person, this comment from ‘Rob’, is just so cruel and so ugly that I have to step back.

Do I fight this? Will it matter? Can a person like this change their mind? Are they even open to another’s opinion? Somehow I don’t think so.

So – where am I going with this? Well, simply put, I’d rather not know thank you very much. I don’t want to invite that sort of disgusting thought into my life, into my consciousness, into my home (via my laptop screen) – I felt like taking a shower (with my laptop) after reading that.

So, despite spending my entire life thus far believing in ‘fighting the good fight’, I have now decided to choose what I allow into my mind and home. I will not go looking for negativity; I will not put myself in a position where this kind of thought can affect me or my child.

Yes, if I am physically confronted by a situation where teaching and explaining more about my son is appropriate, I’m all for it – otherwise, I’m really not interested in what someone on the other side of the world has to say – that’s their problem.

So, Mr. Rob, I wish you all the things I wish for myself.
Love – so that you may understand that some emotions don’t have conditions attached.
Peace – so that your heart is no longer so twisted by hatred.
Acceptance – so that you may understand and celebrate diversity instead of being afraid of it.
Understanding – so that you may try to learn about new things and broaden your horizons.
Embracing the moment - so that you may know that your thoughts of yesterday do not need to be your thoughts of tomorrow.

*Please note that I am no way downplaying in any way other parents’ choice to leave comments or to speak their minds. We each make the choice that is best for us.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A little hurt and confused

Recently, I have been made aware of particular people who have written things from a perspective of 'authority' and 'knowing', and yet, who know nothing.

I'm Sorry. Let me be more specific.

They know alot about alot of things. Ego. Plastic Perfect. Non Acceptance. Intolerance. Misunderstanding. and Hatred, to name but a few of their areas of expertise.

Now, don't get me wrong - everyone should be an expert in something that they feel passionate about. But when their passion is about Division and Ignorance, then I'd like to chip in.

So - they know alot about alot of things, but those are not things I wish to welcome into my life. Those are not things that have any place in my heart or the hearts of those I choose to surround myself with. I am all for a person who says 'I don't know. Will you tell me more?' because there is always the time and space to teach and share. But some people, with voices that are public and voices that are believed, sometimes say things that hurt and confuse me.

Why would a person say that my son is not worthy of life? of Love. of Respect. of Freedom? They haven't met me, they haven't met my son. And frankly, I'd probably have to stampede right over them like a mother elephant in a fit of protective rage over her baby. Now - you'd say that's probably not very nice. No, it isn't. But it is the way I feel when I'm hurt and confused.

What business is it of theirs what I choose to do, or who my son is? They don't care enough to know him and his Love and Life, but they do care enough to publicly say hateful things about him because of what? He has an extra chromosome? He's going to experience some difficulties in life reaching his goals? He's going to do all of this to the best of his ability and with me by his side, telling him that he can. And he will. Mark my words.

My son doesn't know hatred. He doesn't care for labels. His life is about Joy. His message is about Hope. He is a perfect expression of Love.

Why hate him Mr. Important Writer of Alot of Things? Come and meet him, get to know him (if I don't stampede you first) and then put your pen to paper with a clear conscience that you actually know alot about alot of Meaningful things.

No. I can't change the world. My son will face this kind of backward, prehistoric, eugenic-driven, plastic-perfect-worshiping, ego-driven dribble - I know that. But as long as he knows that it's just dribble.