Today I was presented with an opportunity – a really great opportunity! Seriously - I would have loved to have grabbed it with both hands... really tightly... But, being a working mom, my time with Malakai is already too short and very precious. I spent a good few hours with a ‘why can’t I have it all?’ attitude, and then, just as I was allowing the feelings of sadness wash over me, a thought crossed my mind.
“No. I can’t have it now. It's ok, just wait a few years. Malakai comes first. Without. A. Doubt.”
This thought was not accompanied by any feelings of unease, but rather with feelings of love, excitement and pure adoration. Malakai needs me to be there for him. He needs me to give him as much of my time, attention and care as possible. An ‘opportunity’ is ONLY that which is good for me AND my son. I am already away from him 9 - 5 / 5 days a week...
Now I am not saying that a mom cannot have 'it all' – but this opportunity would have robbed my son of even more time without his mom. This is not about 'matyrdom' but about what I choose to do, what I want to (not have to) do for my son.
And as I arrived at home after my 'missed opportunity' and my dear husband was struggling to put Malakai to sleep and cook dinner and feed the dogs and and and... I went straight to my little boy, slightly sleepy and grumpy-looking and took him in my arms. I looked down at him and told him that I loved him, to which he smiled back at me - a big, warm, twinkly-eyes smile...
Malakai is simply My Number One!
Thank You Lord 5 years NED 16 January 2013
11 years ago
4 comments:
Welcome to motherhood! That was a great story and exactly how I often feel and say to myself with all three of my kiddos!
Good for you! (And even better for Malakai!)
The great thing about opportunities is...... They come around again... Nothing lost this time, just something gained - TIME with your beautiful Malakai. Better things are yet to come..... Thats for sure! Hugs to Malakai! Megs
Recently, I have been seriously considering a part-time evening and weekend job. When I asked Gabe if I should go back to work (just for fun), I received a resounding NO! LOL!
I admire that you go out to work every day and I know that it is a very difficult thing to do. Turning down this opportunity seems difficult, but I think taking advantage of spare time to spend with Malakai is wise.
I found the first two years of Gabe's life to just whiz by! So much happens in such a short time!
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