A bit lost without my therapists...

I know how strange this is going to sound - but it's true... I am a bit lost when it comes to Harlan's development because he doesn't have any therapists...

With Malakai I made the conscious decision to never 'measure him up' against typically developing milestone charts. I knew that he would do things in his own time, when he was ready. I wanted to enjoy his development with wonderment and awe, without knowing if, or how, late he was.

So - I just relied on Malakai's various therapists to guide me in recognising his emerging skills, and through their guidance, I was able to work with him on these skills by devising games to play that would help him exercise emerging skills. I never looked too far ahead and I never 'ticked' anything off on a chart.

So - here I am today with Harlan and I have very little idea of what he's supposed to be doing at what stage? Not that milestones freak me out with him either - its just that I actually have no concept how and when certain things start to develop.

So here I am, a mother for the second time, reading baby books on development! It's quite funny really... and sometimes even scary. Harlan is developing at a completely different pace to Malakai, which I expected. What I didn't expect was that I would be so clueless after two years of assisting Malakai to develop all his skills. I thought I'd have it waxed. But obviously not.

I read these books and go 'whaaaat? he's supposed to be doing that already? Really?'

I can't describe accurately the feeling I have to give Harlan everything he needs, just as I did for Malakai, but without the help of experts or professionals... Almost as if I'm cheating my second child out of being his best...

Strange...?