We are the Stow Family and this is our story. Our lives are blessed by Love, Joy and Hope. Follow our sometimes interesting stories on loving our two boys, exploring parenthood, and celebrating a little extra - two parents, two boys and an extra chromosome!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Sticks 'n Stones...

We all know the saying about 'sticks 'n stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?' I don't know who came up with that, but they were obviously on the receiving end of some harsh words.

OK - so I've written and rewritten this post a hundred times!  I just cannot find the words to adequately describe how I'm feeling... I really hope this comes out coherently!

I understand that we live in a world where 91% of people with a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome will abort. And because of this, I can assume that the majority of people out there consider my son, and others like him, to be a 'mistake'.

And this is where it starts - at a place where human beings are ultimately sure that a child born with Ds is a mistake.

So - how do you treat someone you consider to be a mistake? Do you ridicule them? Do you call them names? Do you consider them worthy? Do you see them as a peer or someone to be 'put up with'? Do you get to know them? Do you even see them, or is ignoring them better? Remember - this person is a 'mistake', they weren't supposed to be in the first place.

And yet - here I am (and countless parents and siblings and aunts and uncles and grandparents)... absolutely and completely in love with my son. Yes, he has Down syndrome, but he's also funny, clever, loving and adventurous.

My son is capable of everything and anything he sets his mind to - and believe me he's determined!

But how does the world view him? How will they treat him one day when he's out there without me by his side? Will they call him names? Will they respect him? Will they 'put up' with him? Will they see him... I mean really see him?

More importantly - will I be able to protect him? Will I be able to explain to him that certain people don't know any better? Will I embark on a mission to eradicate those that are disrespectful?

I just don't know right now. And that is bugging me - a lot. I don't know how to protect him, how to change to the world, how to foster understanding in a world where ignorance is rife.

Sticks 'n stones...


Cathy said...

I think your words eloquently echo what many of us feel. The 'real world' scares the heck out of me for my daughter. If the 'real world' only knew what you and I know...sigh.

The Sanchez Family said...

I know Loren...it's one of the most difficult things about having Joaquin and now Sofia in our lives. We absolutely SEE them in all their beauty and glory but does the world? It hurts to think about it too much.

Erin B said...

Loren~ That was such a wonderful post, I wish all, and I emphasize all, parents could read that post. It is so important to remember that all human beings deserve respect and the time it takes to get to know them. I hope you can find peace with this and protect your son or find out he doesn't need any protecting:)

Anonymous said...

Its called ignorance. People that call our children a mistake are none the wiser. Dont get upset. Rather, feel sorry for them. Our children are gifts and we have been chosen to look after these gifts, these people who are ignorant will never feel or understand the joy they give to us and all those around them. Know that in your heart and carry on teaching them about these gifts from God.

Lacey said...

I don't feel like Jax was a mistake. Thats why I didn't even do the testing for Down syndrome. He's one of the angels that agreed to suffer to bring people together and make the world a little bit better!