We are the Stow Family and this is our story. Our lives are blessed by Love, Joy and Hope. Follow our sometimes interesting stories on loving our two boys, exploring parenthood, and celebrating a little extra - two parents, two boys and an extra chromosome!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Baby Doe...

Late last week two little babies, twins, were born in Arkansas USA to a woman who couldn't or didn't want them - luckily for them, they had adoptive parents waiting to take them home and raise them as their own.

The one twin was released and his adoptive parents took him home, the second twin was born with severe medical complications... and... an extra chromosome. He was left behind, not just to fend for himself, but with a clear 'Do Not Recussitate' order signed. They didn't want him, little Baby Doe. He wasn't even given a name. 

Since then, the Down syndrome community worldwide has been up in arms, fighting, praying, writing letters, making phone calls, doing everything they could to give Baby Doe a chance. Thankfully, the DNR order has been lifted and Baby Doe is being given the medical attention he needs - and deserves. And, knowing the Down syndrome community, he will find a loving family who will take him home when he's able.

And that... is the crux of the matter.  Baby Doe deserves a chance at life, a chance to give and receive love, a chance to be held by a mother, a chance to be thrown the air, giggling and smiling, by a father. He deserves to be given the chance to grow and learn and thrive and give and share and be the beautiful human being he was born to be.

I just cannot fathom that in this day and age a baby is left to die because he has Down syndrome... It is an idea saturated and dripping in ignorance... but mostly, it comes down to being a human being, seeing another human being who needs to be loved and celebrated and accepted. And yet... there is only rejection, fear and abandonment.

The universe gave this couple, these adoptive parents, an opportunity to broaden their lives to include a child who would take them down a road that will change their lives forever - for the better. An opportunity to see perfection, an opportunity to open their hearts and their minds, an opportunity to allow their 'perfect' child to grow up alongside a beautiful and equally perfect twin brother.

This was their journey, Baby Doe was their gift, but they walked away.

I can talk about how much this story hurts me, how when any child is rejected simply because of an extra chromosome, or because they have a brain that is damaged in some way, or because they don't 'fit' in to what we are told is 'perfect' - how this rejection is personal dammit. It is personal.

I can talk about how I was changed the day Malakai was born - I was changed forever and I will never, ever be able to go back. I will never be able to 'unlive' what I've lived with my beautiful son, over the past two years and more.  How Malakai's very existence made me part of a community, part of an awareness, part of a global family.

I can talk about how I want to hold Baby Doe and tell him that he's loved, he's beautiful, he's special, he's smart and he's wanted... He's part of Malakai with whom he shares a common thread... He's part of me. He's my baby. He's every mother-of-a-child-with-special-need's baby, he's ours and we hold him in our hearts.

But I won't...

4 comments:

Mel said...

That story had me in tears. Those two babies came as a package, and should have gone to a family who wanted both of them. Neither of their lives will be complete without the other. What is wrong with the medical fraternity?

Lorraine said...

Tears pooled in my eyes as I read this post with my thoughts running riot: Blind... Stupid... Primitive... Criminal... Ignorant..! So-called intelligent educated people? Unfathomable!
Our beautiful perfect children are light years ahead when it comes to the most important thing in life: Unconditional Love.

stephanie said...

i can't help but think what the "accepted twin" will think when he is grown and finds out he has a brother that was rejected. i do believe these adoptive parents that are holding on to "perfection" are doomed.

Natasha said...

Tears role down my face as I am reading this!! I can not believe people can be so cruel! Baby Doe is a gift from God just as ANY other child is!!!!!