Red Hot Birthday Party

Where do I even begin?

I was so excited about Malakai's birthday party - I had planned, done invitations, made decorations, created party packs and generally drove my husband insane... And! I am NOT like this... I am not a party planner type person. Frankly I find it really daunting and quite stressful... But for my boy? Anything of course!

So bring on Friday night - I am finally 'almost' prepared for Saturday's party. All I need is my beauty sleep. Malakai had different ideas, as he spent the night awake, crying and feeling very hot. And (confession), I had misplaced his thermometer, which I blame completely on the porridge brain I have since becoming pregnant again. I looked and looked in the middle of night, and couldn't find it.

At last Malakai went to sleep and Darryl and I managed 3 or 4 hours before getting going on Saturday morning.

At last we were ready and guests started arriving, but my jovial, happy, easy-going son had morphed into a crying, screaming, red-in-the-face, get-out-of-my-face baby... After taking his temperature (with the thermometer that I had managed to find in daylight), I wasn't too concerned.

After a few more hours of constant crying, which is so contrary to Malakai's usual nature, I decided to use a friend's thermometer and it read 37.8 degrees Celsius. Not an emergency, but definitely the start of a fever.

To cut a really long (it felt like an epic in the day) story short - Malakai came down with a horrible fever that peaked, twice, at 38.9 and 39. This was our first experience of fever (in a whole year!), and all on his birthday! We managed to break the fever for long enough for him to enjoy his cake and open his presents - for the rest of the day either Darryl and or I were consoling him in his state of complete despair.

My poor monkey is better now - the fever is gone, but he is still a bit under the weather with a runny nose. I hope that he's all better soon!

As for everyone who shared Malakai's birthday with us - thank you! He was truly spoilt rotten and your generosity left us speechless! We are so happy that you could spend the day with us (even though we weren't around much of the time, and Malakai was literally in and out!).

As my baby gets ready to turn one...

So, we find ourselves on the eve of the day you were born my baby boy.

I am filled with so much – Love, Thoughts, Memories, Hopes, Pride, Excitement...

I have loved every minute of every day since your arrival, you continue to amaze and inspire me with your joy, smiles, love and determination.

What I wish I had known, the day you were born, the day we ‘found out’, the day that was filled with so many tears and heavy-heavy sadness... what I wish I had known then was that I had no reason to cry, no reason to be sad or fearful, because you would be ok. No. More than ok! You would fill our lives with wonder and joy and love and smiles.

Malakai you have taught me so much already – I now know that Perfection comes in many shapes and forms. I now know that Acceptance has nothing to do with ‘settling’ and everything to do with celebration of our lives together. I now know that no book, doctor, diagnosis or blood test can tell me who you are – only you can... in your time... in your way. I now know that little boys with naughty smiles can renew my soul... and fill my heart! I now know that I’ll be ok, not in the least because you’ve shown me that it’s all going to be ok.

This year has been an amazing journey. Your dad loves you so much, you brighten his days and make him so proud. He, like everyone else, thinks you’re just a superstar in every way. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins adore you too. You have a special place in their hearts and the hearts of all our friends. I don’t think we could’ve imagined, the day you were born, what an impact you would make on everyone you meet.

My angel, as we draw your first year to a close, sealed with starry-eyed love, I want to think of your next year. I want to wish, imagine and project my ideas of what’s going to happen. But I am quickly reminded of the single biggest lesson you have ever taught me – stay here. Right here. This moment is our only promise, our only gift, the only place where we can truly make a difference.

So, bring on 366 days my baby... and then 367... One day at a time. Celebrating. Loving. Being. Becoming. One beautiful moment at a time.

Our Year in Pictures

*In my tummy*

*First Breath*

*1 day old*

*2 weeks old*

*1 month old*

*2 months old*

*3 months old*

*4 months old*

*5 months old*


*6 months old*

*7 months old*

*8 months old*

*9 months old*

*10 months old*

*11 months old*

*Almost 1!*

Pix Fix

For my mom... :)

*Ahem...*

A bit of an announcement today!

Mr. Malakai will have a little brother or sister to play with come January 2010... Yes, I'm pregnant again!

We are really excited about having another baby, especially because we think Malakai is going to make a really super big brother and we can't think of a better gift for Malakai (a sibling to love and share and play with), or a better gift for the little person I'm pregnant with (to have Malakai as a brother).

So - here we go again!

Guess who's....?

.... got two big teeth?

... and can drink from his own cup?

....Mr Malakai of course!!

It's a floater!

Malakai is such a star!

I thought I'd start with that! :)

He is becoming so mobile and really starting to explore (every single) aspect of his environment! He'll throw his ball and chase after it for ages! He's trying to pull himself up on things and his understanding of what's going on around him is amazing!

His crawling has improved so much over the past two weeks and I'm so proud of my little monkey!

Ok - so about my title - 'it's a floater!'

Well - Malakai loves to poo in the bath. Yes. In. The. Bath.

Almost every night he'll 'drop one' while bathing... Now I've tried delaying his bath, massaging his tummy before a bath, playing with his legs to get the poo flowing BEFORE his bath, but to no avail...

I dunno - maybe it's the freedom of floating around in water that does it for him? I've heard of people that go into libraries and the smell of books instantly makes them want to do a 'number 2'... so maybe it's psychological?

Well - Malakai used to suffer from the most terrible constipation, so whenever he poos I'm grateful! But, this obviously causes some logistical problems - namely - I can't bath my son in poo-water!!

Am I alone? Is Malakai the only one who loves to poo in the bath? Any guidance out there? Tips? Hints? It would make bath-time so much easier for me.

I wish you Love & Light

I have been doing some soul searching the past few days – questioning long-held beliefs and trying to make changes in my life that will bring into my life those things that I want – Love, Peace, Acceptance, Understanding and most of all Embracing this Moment.

Firstly, I have realized that if I want those things in my life, and I expect others to respect those things, then I must be able to ‘step up’ and deliver those things myself. Easy peasy? Not quite.

It means that I must give Love, Peace, Acceptance and Understanding to those that give it back AND to those that don’t. Nelson Mandela once said that revenge/unforgiveness/hatred for another is like me drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead… Not very clever. No.

But this is obviously easier said than done people. Which is why I think it is has been the most enlightened of our species that have displayed this tendency – it is not easy for us mere mortals.

In recent days/weeks I have chosen to join a group of concerned parents of children with Ds who want to educate the ignorant and call them on their outdated beliefs – in the hopes that we can make a difference for our children. This is noble and the intention is good. But what a ninny I am! The very first article we were lead to read, one that was so incorrect and so ridiculous about individuals with Ds, and I’m ‘chickening out’ so to speak.

The article itself wasn’t that bad – leaving a comment for the author would surely have given him food for thought. So everything is all good… until I read a comment on this particular article that referred to my child (or people with Ds) as ‘animals’ and not much better than ‘cattle’… ‘just because something looks human, doesn’t mean it is’.

What? My mouth just hangs open and my heart constricts. Re-read it. And again. Nope. Still dumbstuck.

This person, this comment from ‘Rob’, is just so cruel and so ugly that I have to step back.

Do I fight this? Will it matter? Can a person like this change their mind? Are they even open to another’s opinion? Somehow I don’t think so.

So – where am I going with this? Well, simply put, I’d rather not know thank you very much. I don’t want to invite that sort of disgusting thought into my life, into my consciousness, into my home (via my laptop screen) – I felt like taking a shower (with my laptop) after reading that.

So, despite spending my entire life thus far believing in ‘fighting the good fight’, I have now decided to choose what I allow into my mind and home. I will not go looking for negativity; I will not put myself in a position where this kind of thought can affect me or my child.

Yes, if I am physically confronted by a situation where teaching and explaining more about my son is appropriate, I’m all for it – otherwise, I’m really not interested in what someone on the other side of the world has to say – that’s their problem.

So, Mr. Rob, I wish you all the things I wish for myself.
Love – so that you may understand that some emotions don’t have conditions attached.
Peace – so that your heart is no longer so twisted by hatred.
Acceptance – so that you may understand and celebrate diversity instead of being afraid of it.
Understanding – so that you may try to learn about new things and broaden your horizons.
Embracing the moment - so that you may know that your thoughts of yesterday do not need to be your thoughts of tomorrow.

*Please note that I am no way downplaying in any way other parents’ choice to leave comments or to speak their minds. We each make the choice that is best for us.

A little hurt and confused

Recently, I have been made aware of particular people who have written things from a perspective of 'authority' and 'knowing', and yet, who know nothing.

I'm Sorry. Let me be more specific.

They know alot about alot of things. Ego. Plastic Perfect. Non Acceptance. Intolerance. Misunderstanding. and Hatred, to name but a few of their areas of expertise.

Now, don't get me wrong - everyone should be an expert in something that they feel passionate about. But when their passion is about Division and Ignorance, then I'd like to chip in.

So - they know alot about alot of things, but those are not things I wish to welcome into my life. Those are not things that have any place in my heart or the hearts of those I choose to surround myself with. I am all for a person who says 'I don't know. Will you tell me more?' because there is always the time and space to teach and share. But some people, with voices that are public and voices that are believed, sometimes say things that hurt and confuse me.

Why would a person say that my son is not worthy of life? of Love. of Respect. of Freedom? They haven't met me, they haven't met my son. And frankly, I'd probably have to stampede right over them like a mother elephant in a fit of protective rage over her baby. Now - you'd say that's probably not very nice. No, it isn't. But it is the way I feel when I'm hurt and confused.

What business is it of theirs what I choose to do, or who my son is? They don't care enough to know him and his Love and Life, but they do care enough to publicly say hateful things about him because of what? He has an extra chromosome? He's going to experience some difficulties in life reaching his goals? He's going to do all of this to the best of his ability and with me by his side, telling him that he can. And he will. Mark my words.

My son doesn't know hatred. He doesn't care for labels. His life is about Joy. His message is about Hope. He is a perfect expression of Love.

Why hate him Mr. Important Writer of Alot of Things? Come and meet him, get to know him (if I don't stampede you first) and then put your pen to paper with a clear conscience that you actually know alot about alot of Meaningful things.

No. I can't change the world. My son will face this kind of backward, prehistoric, eugenic-driven, plastic-perfect-worshiping, ego-driven dribble - I know that. But as long as he knows that it's just dribble.

Exhale.

Well Done Malakai!

That dorky laughter at the end is me :)

News!

I am so excited about my news today!!

Malakai started crawling last week! Yes! All by himself! I am so proud of my little guy, he's doing so well and is determined! Now, a whole new world has opened up for him (and us!!). We have had to ensure that our house is safe for him to explore and now I just can't wait to see him go further and further!

Other news is on the local front. I am not sure about how it works overseas, but locally our pregnancy/parenting magazines offer very little in the way of support for special needs. In fact, in the whole 15 months that I read these magazines I saw ONE article about chromosomal abnormalities and Down syndrome was mentioned of course. Otherwise, there really isn't a sincere effort to reach mothers of children with special needs.

So! A new parenting magazine has launched recently in SA called Mamas & Papas. It is fantastically Proudly South African, and is aimed at ALL cultures in our country (because our current magazines focus only on the white middle class). They have asked me write a few articles for them and they have launched their July/August edition which is completely focussed on Special Needs!! Malakai is featured, as are other children with Down syndrome, autism, cancer, ADHD, albinism etc. I am so proud!

Please go out and buy a copy of this magazine and show your support for their innitiative to include families with special needs in their magazine. Every new edition will now feature something about special needs, so this is a magazine worth supporting!

Oh My!

Well... where do I even start?

I have put a whole lot of pictures up today, taken over the past week or so!

Malakai has been a superstar as usual! He now has both bottom teeth, and thankfully we seem to be having a bit of break before the next teeth come through. He's sleeping so much better at night now (and so is Daddy...)

Also, as you can see, Daddy cut Malakai's hair this weekend! I was out and got a phone call to say that his hair was being cut. I wanted to wait until he was a year old (for reasons I can't exactly explain), but Daddy said his head looked like a hairy mango pip (What???) and when I got home and saw him - well! Do you know of a cuter little boy? Seriously. Do you?

Otherwise, Malakai is seriously becoming mobile. No crawling yet, but he makes a plan I tell you! I have never seen someone roll around with such conviction and purpose! Also, he just wants to stand and tries to pull himself up on things - a little scary! Yesterday Malakai had pulled himself up on the side of his cot after his nap!

On the food front - I must admit I am no closer to getting Malakai to swallow bigger pieces. A chocking child kinda does that to you! So, I'm thinking of learning the Heimlich Maneuver and then I'll try again!

Ok - so a small update... and some pics!

Malakai chilling with Elriza at the picnic!

Caden (Malakai's little friend) - running rampant

Caden - looking cute

Caden - looking even cuter!

Caden - dressed like a real mini-man!



Malakai - eating his toys (yummy) and before his haircut!

Striking a pose - pretty boy!


Could he get cuter?

Seriously. Could he?

Loving mommy!

Dressed in his dungarees that granny bought him before he was even born! This one's for you mom!

1976

Yesterday we had a wonderful public holiday! I love those! Darryl and I met some friends and had a nice picnic with Malakai and their little one Caden.

But we often don’t remember why we have public holidays… and so, this post is a little ‘101’ on South African history. June 16th 1976, South Africa saw one of it’s most violent and brutal uprisings. Now referred to as ‘Youth Day’, back in 1976 it was a terrible day for many young South Africans. In the deepest midst of the Apartheid Era (where segregation, racism, terrorism and fear was rife), black children living in the townships were only allowed to attend Bantu (for my foreign friends, this is pronounced ‘bun-to’) Schools. Bantu Schooling was specifically for the black population. Not only where these children not allowed to attend ‘white schools’ but they were also given an inferior level education, fit only for those children to one day become domestic workers and hard laborers. Then, in early 1976, these children were told that they were going to be forced to learn in Afrikaans (not their mother tongue)… Well, this was the cherry on top, and the youth of Soweto decided to plan an uprising and protest to show their anger at being forced to learn in a language they didn’t understand.

The 1976 Riots were made up of children, ranging from 6/7 years to 17/18 years old, marching through the streets of Soweto, singing and dancing in unison to show their solidarity. The South African Armed forces descended on these children with military tanks, tear gas, dogs, rubber bullets… real bullets… I forget now how many children were killed. But any loss of a child’s life… even one. And there was definitely more than one life lost that day.

So, yesterday we celebrated Youth Day, a day that remembers a time in our country’s history that is so violent, so brutal, so thoughtless and horrific. I am proud today to say that I am a South African, that I live in a country where everyone is free. No, we don’t have schools for every child, in some rural areas children walk barefoot for miles to reach their school, which is just a building without desks, chairs, books or even running water. But they go, everyday, to learn what they can with such little. Our country has come a long way, but still has a long long way to go.

This is about remembrance, but it is also about gratitude for what we have now.

Hello Tooth!

At last! Malakai's first tooth at the bottom made an appearance yesterday - the other little one can't be far behind either!

I am very excited that's he's going to start being able to chew bigger chunks of food - although, I am still a bit worried about his swallowing abilities! Although I wanted to make a conscious effort to give Malakai bigger and bigger pieces of food to swallow, I haven't done so consistently, so I really don't know if he can handle it or not... He has no fear or aversion to texture or taking bigger pieces into his mouth - it's just when it comes to swallowing he chokes up, even on pieces of food that are soft (like melon).

Otherwise, I've also added a few pictures of my little man with his purple hairy thingy that he clearly LOVES!

Sleepless Nights...

I know I haven't posted news in a long time! I just can't say why... I have been following all my blogs though, and I just love catching up with everyone and their kiddos! It is my little escape, when I find the time!

Mr. Malakai has been doing well - he has been keeping me up at night though! Now, I know I've been soooo blessed that for the most part, Malakai has slept through the night from 6 to 6 since he was about 3 months old... very blessed! So, I am not used to sleep deprivation people!! I don't know how to cope!

First, it was a stubborn runny nose that would wake him in the middle of the night and now it's teeth... yes! Those two little bottom ones are getting ready to make an appearance! I am excited that he'll soon be able to chew food!! But the night wakings... good grief!

Other than that, Malakai is really close to crawling - he is getting onto all fours and rocking back and forth - just adorable! And tonight, for the first time without any assistance, he's taken himself from lying on his tummy to sitting up. All by himself! What a clever boy! I am just so proud of him! We're also working on mimicking - so I'll pat the table, and he'll pat the table. I'll throw the ball and he'll throw the ball...

I didn't realise before becoming a mother that the little things are just so amazing! And, dare I say, more so because my little boy is 'apparently' DISabled? From my last posts it is clear that I was struggling somewhat with fitting in every conceivable exercise to maximise Malakai's potential. Then, I think because I'm so friggen tired, I just couldn't carry on beating myself up - it was too tiring... LOL! And hey presto - he makes leaps and bounds - just when I give myself permission to Let Go.

When will I learn?

I suppose when I do, I'll know! LOL!

Anyhoo - I just wanted to send a small update into Bloggy-World. Just in case anyone thought we'd fallen off the face of the earth... we haven't! Mommy's just very very tired and Malakai's very very busy!